My thoughts on Ray and Janay Rice

As I reflect on Ray Rice and his wife, Janay Rice, I am reminded of the television show, House. 

One of the most valuable lessons that I have ever learned didn't come from a best-selling book, or a stranger I met by chance, or even my parents (although I have surely learned a great deal from all three). The simple yet unforgettable lesson came from this show.

If you've never seen it before, the show's plot is centered around a brilliant, intimidating, intuitive, stubborn, honest and flat-out rude diagnostic doctor by the name of Gregory House. He's the kind of doctor that you would choose to have if you knew what was best for you but hate to have if you were ignorant to it.

I spent the entire first season trying to figure him out... the root of all his brutal and heart-filled choices. The characters in the show spent time doing the same as me. One character figured it out before I ever could. And she said it so simply:

"You don't do things because they're fair... you do things because they're right."

Janay Rice, Photo: huffingpost.com

My heart breaks for her. My heart breaks that millions of people have seen this terrible video of the man she loves knocking her unconscious. My heart breaks that she has to hear about it for God knows how long. My heart breaks at the idea that this could ever happen to her again. My heart breaks that with the release of the video or not, she will think about this moment every single day for a very, very long. My heart breaks.

The release of the video by TMZ has sparked a lot of debate and conversation around the country.

 I've heard people saying that the media had no right to release the video. I hate to be 'that journalist', but technically, yes, they did have the right. Ray Rice assaulted his then-fiancee on public surveillance. In addition to this, he is a public figure, which makes the video of direct interest to the public. Please, please, please don't get me wrong. I believe so strongly in the privacy of public and private individuals. Every single person is entitled to that. Is this situation really anyone else's business but theirs? No, it's really not; if only the world really worked like that. Unfortunately, Ray Rice made his actions public before anyone else, and he must now face the very tough consequences. Jennifer Lawrence's naked body surely isn't anyone's business, but that didn't stop the media or millions of people from making it theirs just last week. And this is something she did in the privacy of her own home.... not on a public elevator.

I've heard a lot of people using the "she hit him first" argument. We all watched the video so we know this is true. And yes, I agree that she had no right whatsoever to do that. And I know most are just trying to prove a point. But in some small way, this point seems to excuse the Ray Rice's actions and lighten his level of accountability, unintentional or not. If you think what happened to Janay Rice was "fair" because she hit him first....

"You don't do things because they're fair... you do things because they're right."

And then there's my least favorite: those questioning how women continuously request equality, but not expecting it when a man hits her back. Come on, do you really think situation calls for a comparison for gender equality? How dare you compare women fighting for equal voting rights, career opportunities and general human respect to equality when engaging in a physical altercation with someone who nearly twice her size and strength? Women and men are born inherently equal on a mental level (the capacity for intelligence, decision-making, etc.), but it is a biological fact that men and women are physically different. You cannot make an argument for gender equality. Equality does not exist here. That is the difference.

Unleash Katniss Everdeen, please

Every night before we all lay our little heads on our plump, cold pillows, we should all thank our lucky stars that we aren't celebrities.

And just like yesterday, tonight, I'll be thankful I'm not Jennifer Lawrence.

I'm a Libra. It is my self-proclaimed part-time job to put myself in other people's shoes pretty much immediately. I often find myself sliding on someone else's shoes before I even break my own in. And although I don't know what it's truly like to be Jennifer Lawrence right now, I never want to.

Wait, I'm ahead of myself here. Rewind. 

At some point in the past 24-hours, nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence were leaked on the internet. I don't encourage you to look at them, but it's one of those things where you just end up on the page, thinking "poor thing". I saw them by accident. But I'll admit, I would've eventually sought out the proof with my own eyes. I don't blame you. Like I said, it really is just one of those things.

It kind of breaks my heart. This woman is 24-years old. Not that it would make it any better if she was 44 or 65, but for me it hits that much closer to home. "What if that was me? How would I handle it? Would people look at me differently? Would I trust anyone?" Those all seem like basic thoughts that might run through my head. It's not even fully about a million strangers and critics seeing your naked body. Believe me, I'm sure that's extremely terrifying. But it's hard to imagine that being the worst part of it all. It's the invasion of every boundary of privacy she thought belonged to her. It's the feeling that she can't do what she wants when she wants to with people and situations and memories that belong to her. It's the inconsiderate, disgusting comments she will get walking down the street, the eyes that will stare with more intent, and the sense of security that she won't get back for years, if at all.

If I'm wrong about Jennifer Lawrence, I'm hoping she transforms into Katniss Everdeen after all of this. I've always imagined her to be a fighter, just like the fictional character she plays in "The Hunger Games". That girl is fierce, strong and confident but graceful and authentic... five great qualities that would motivate and help any person out of a really, really tough situation like this one. And it's not just because I've seen her embody the role of Katniss that I believe they are similar. Have you ever seen her in an interview?  NO WAY SHE IS GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT....A GRACEFUL FIGHT. 

*Does 3 finger sign from "The Hunger Games"* Respect.

But she's so cute

When it comes to my thoughts and opinions on Ariana Grande... I don't know, I guess I'm confused. 

Unless you watched Nickelodeon, you probably didn't even who know Ariana Grande was until her single, "The Way", reached the top of the charts in 2013 with the help of rapper Mac Miller. Minus the few times my best friend mentioned how "sexy" she was, I really had no idea who this girl was. I actually had to resort to google at first mention. And I still remember my first thought when numerous pictures of her adorable smile complete with a solo dimple and awfully died red hair popped up: "Sexy? She looks like she's 13."

You see what I mean? Well, a lot has changed since (she was 17 then). She is a multi-platinum recording artist, she has performed at some of Hollywood's popular award shows, she has released two number-one albums (one just this week), she is dating Big Sean, she is arguably one of the most talented singers in mainstream music... oh, and she now looks 14 years old.

But if you know a lot about her, you know Ariana Grande is really 21 years old. If you know absolutely nothing, you probably wouldn't believe it. Her extremely petite figure, teenage-like maneurisms, predictably curly ponies, slightly awkward presence both on and off stage, and tutu and leotard style outfits certainly don't support the solid fact.

Most stars who are young, rich and famous are pretty opposite of Ariana Grande. They don't necessarily protect their innocent image, and don't seem to want to. They are marketed to be sexy and seductive... to wear one less piece of clothing and pop their butt just a little harder, but only a little. It's an inevidable process. They are are expected to give the people what they want.  And that's not just a saying. In most cases, that's actually what people want. It's entertainment. Ariana Grande does it on rare occassions, but usually in the most pure and wholesome way you could ever imagine. I promise you.

I make fun of Ariana Grande, a lot actually. It's all in a jokingly manner, but there's definitely truth to everything I'm saying. To me, she just doesn't act, look, dress or carry herself like a 21-year old, but especially one in the public eye. More like a 16-year old. It's extremely comical. Seriously, Ariana? What's wrong with you? In reality, nothing; nothing at all. Except the fact that her virtuous image probably hinders attention from the public and media (which is probably unwanted anyway) and makes her the 30th runner-up in the popularity contest that is the music business. I hate that the music business comes down to this. It's not just about the music, or even mostly about the music. And you want to know what I hate even more? I am an active participant.

Although she may be overlooked, Ariana Grande is a household name in her own right. She is an undeniable talent, and if you don't like her, you have to respect her for being so great at what she does. You might not have noticed, but I weirdly adore Ariana Grande. I love her, I appreciate her and I giggle every time I see her twirl her hair in her fingers or awkwardly drop it low. It's entertainment. And no other artist can give me quite that kind of entertainment. 

I know, I know... that was pretty awkward for you. Don't worry, it's over for now. But her career is nowhere near over, so adjust those eyes to this little angel. There's a lot more where this move came from. And I'm happy about it.

Photo credits: serievictorious.blogspot.com, vox.com

Don't lie, we're all counting (68 days)

The inevitable has arrived, and I am elated people.

I clearly play favorites, so without further ado... my fav girlfriend Taylor Swift dropped about 100 bombs (actually, five) on us during her 30-minute Yahoo! Worldwide Livestream on Monday afternoon. Did I mention they were five of the most exciting  and anticipated bombs ever?

For starters, 1) Taylor introduced her new single titled, "Shake it Off". Okay, that was expected. Prior to its start, I was almost sure the livestream would consist of numerous hints about her next album and tons of fan questions. Sounds kind of boring but think again, my uninformed friends. You could ask Taylor Swift a very simple question that can easily be laid to rest with a simple "Yes" or "No" plus some on-the-surface details to follow, but that just will never happen with her. She will turn her answer into the most lovely, passionate and interesting speech, that not only answers your question but probably about 10 others that you didn't even know you wanted to ask. Listening to a Taylor Swift interview is like reading a NY Times Bestseller. Once you've started, you can't stop. You don't want to.

Okay, next. I'm getting excited just telling you. 2) Taylor debuted her super fun music video for "Shake it Off", and then proceeded to have an impromptu dance party with members of the audience. In case you were wondering, questions running through my head during that time: why am I not there? Why am I watching this moment on livestream via janky wifi? Why am I instead watching a three-star horror movie on the floor of my best friend's house? And so on and so forth pretty much until the livestream cut me off.If you haven't seen the video, check it out below! This video just adds to the list of reasons why I love this chick. I'm 100% sure we would be best friends if we weren't strangers.

Lucky number three. 3) Taylor revealed her album cover, which obviously included the title, '1989'. That's the year she was born, and also the generation of music that inspired the album. At this point I thought I was dreaming because just in the past year or two, I've become more and more attached to music in the mid to late 80s- Madonna, Wilson Phillips, Prince, U2, Simple Minds. That music was so distinct, so upbeat, so detailed. I've grown to really appreciate it. Then this bomb led to a very smooth transition into bomb number four: 4) Taylor's fifth studio album will be her very first official pop album. Was I the only one whose heart dropped when they heard this? Pop? I mean, her albums have progressively become closer and closer to pop but this was just way too official. Well, I got over that in about five seconds. Next bomb, please.

Lastly, 5) Taylor revealed her album release date: OCTOBER 27TH. I was actively listening for October 23rd (my birthday) but I missed it by four days. Taylor released all but one of her albums ('Fearless' in early November) in the second half of October. I'm not sure why, but if I ever meet her I'll be sure to ask. 

Other baby bombs: the deluxe edition of the album will feature a few voice memos from her phone of the beginning stages of her writing process, the album will include 13 different poloroids of her, Taylor will stay true to including hidden secret messages within the album and there will be a "Swift-stakes" in which she will give away 1,000 tickets and 500 meet and greets for her next tour (total number of prizes: 1989, duh.)

In closing... can it be October 27th already?

I'll follow you until you love me

Since we all love a good generalization, I'm going to put it simply: paparazzi are annoying.

Okay, that's not totally fair. Their job is just annoying. But I'm going to safely say that a lot of them are. And the guilty would most likely disagree via speech and agree via smerk. This, in turn, has given birth to the Kanyes, Biebers, and.... Zayns? Yup, the paps even have the English boy band under their spell. No one is safe. NO. ONE. 

Okay, let's be serious. This doesn't even seem out of character for Kanye. This just looks so natural... like he's handling his business, which just so happens to be this man. I mean, I'm not completely mad at Kanye. Who is to say that you or I will never have a paparazzi in an attempted chokerhold? I respect him for consistently keeping it real, even when it guarantees ridicule, distaste, and the scarlet letter "D" for douche upon his chest. It's obvious his decisions aren't always the best and are hurtful but hey, I'm guilty of both. We may not understand Kanye fully, or even at all, but you have to understand his defensiveness for a lot of things, people, and situations we don't know the half about. I'm not excusing his behavior, just taking an objective peep inside his world. I once read a statement that was like, "I swear I'm not crazy, I'm just passionate." I'm pretty sure that was made for people like him. And I would rather be both than to stand for nothing at all.

Yup Justin, I would hate it too. People holding onto my past, digging into my present, and turning my present into the future (picture on every tabloid in less than 24 hours kind of future). But it's not all their fault. There's self-control, overlooking, and passivity... none of which  sound like a very easy option in a circumstance that seems like deja vu. I feel for you, I really do. I just hope this whole fame thing doesn't make you hate every person you see with a camera and a mouth on the street. I feel like that might be where we're headed here.

Celebrity middle finger pics are actually my favorite, especially from people like Zayn Malik. This one specifically because 1) Zayn is in One Direction and 2) All I can picture in my head is their beyond innocent music video on the beach for "What Makes You Beautiful". I mean seriously, I vaguely remember seeing a female in that entire video. I get it, that was probably over three years ago but I will admit I have problems letting go of Disney-like, teenage superstars. You're going to stay young, sweet, and untainted for as long as we both shall live. No one, and for the second time in this post I mean NO. ONE., can tell me that Miley isn't still Hannah, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens aren't still high school sweethearts, and Lindsay Lohan isn't a twin. Now slide that middle finger down Zayn, we know you didn't mean it. Tell the paparazzi what makes them beautiful... or not.

If Beyonce is doomed, are we doomed? (Questions that seriously haunt me)

If I could only use one word in the world to describe the word perfect, I would just say "Beyonce". I mean come on, they're both seven letters.... that's what I call fate.

I say that as someone who doesn't have your typical girl-on-girl obsession with Beyonce. Don't get me wrong, I think the woman is one of the most talented entertainers of our time. She's absolutely gorgeous, has a killer body, and a permanent pregnancy glow. And although based purely on a third-person objective point of view, I see someone that's gentle, a super sweet spirit, down-to-earth, and more than enough passion for the things she believes in. Those are all admirable qualities that any of us would gladly and anxiously pull out of a hat for our ideal partner, even Jay Z.

If you're wondering where I'm going with this, I promise it'll make sense by the end.

If you haven't heard about the Beyonce and Jay Z rumors, let me be the first to tell you. So, apparently Beyonce met with her advisor and everyone is itching and practically dying to know why. I mean clearly the only reason a woman needs some sound advice is when her marriage may or may not be in trouble. Now this is all happening amidst the surfacing of a video posted by Jay Z's self-proclaimed mistress, side chick, or whatever she prefers to refer to herself as. I'm still a little confused as to what to make of her so I'll just call her by her name, Liv. Anyway, it's called "Sorry Mrs. Carter", and she's basically taking hits at Beyonce, referring to her inability to keep both her husband and other women in check. 

Uhm, okay Liv. What you really mean is sorry I'm not sorry.

Seriously, there have been Jay Z and Beyonce rumors since before they even got together. But how, you ask? I guess I should really be asking you. People are literally standing around, twiddling their thumbs, and waiting for them to get a divorce. The way people stand around and wait for LBJ to decide which NBA team he will join to play basketball. Oh wait, except we know that's going to actually come. People are waiting for the release of a statement we've seen so many times before from celebrity couples who we were so sure would last... or not. I guess you could say there's a thin line between the two. And they always go the same way. "______ and I are saddened (or add in your own filler word that expresses deep disappointment and despair) to announce that we are ending our marriage." Then a comment about the kids remaining the prioritiy and a request for the deserved privacy that they know they won't get. And we know it, too.

The truth is, what if they really don't split up? I feel like people would be disappointed; not because they truly wanted their relationship to fail, but because they had ancipated it for so long, and just knew it was going to happen.  I'm not saying they will or won't. I don't know the first thing about their realtionship. Or second, third, or even the twentieth.

If there is one lesson a divorce between Beyonce and Jay Z will teach us it is that perfect isn't enough. I know I can't be the only lady who thought, "Oh crap. Beyonce and all her 'perfectness' and she was still cheated on?" Not that lack of perfection or flaws warrant cheating, or that perfection doesn't. Sometimes we (I plead the fifth) just forget that celebrities aren't actually perfect, especially Beyonce, which she makes so dang easy. They make poor choices, they are subject to injustices and grief, they make sacrifices and they get cheated on. It really doesn't get any more imperfect than that. 

But aside from Beyonce, let's not also forget that to some extent wouldn't we all like to think that having a seemingly perfect wife or husband would at least warrant a reciprocation of loyalty, committment and honesty? 

I'm pretty sure we'll all be saying Sorry Mrs. Carter if these lame rumors are in fact true, not just Liv. Now that I think about it, Jay Z probably will too; album title and all. Hmmm, I wonder if that would work better for him than others...

Oh, and have you heard Beyonce's 'Flawless' remix? CHECK IT OUT

Finally

Okay so dinner is served: a huge plate of procrastination, mixed with embarrassment, topped off with enough shame for seconds.

But this is solely awkward for me. Truthfully, I was supposed to start this exact blog four years ago, but if you've ever been to college (especially my alma mater), had a job, or you're just a procrastinator at heart, I know you feel my pain of getting distracted for... well, forever. But, enough about me for now. This isn't even about me. It's about them.  
                                   

                                                               And him.
                               

                                                                 This,

                                

                                                                 These,

                                              
                                               
                                                                                       
                                               Can't forget these kiddos.
                             
                                          Oh, and our angels, of course.
                             
                                               
You get the point, right? Music, television, sports, celebrities, books, award shows... pop culture, baby! The thing is I have a love/hate relationship with it. I am a really, really big fan of entertainment. I just really, really hate its side effects; for the people indulging, and let's not forget those in the center of it all. The unrealistic standards we set for each other as human beings, the disgusting promotion of stereotypes, the constant criticism, the painful, unspoken pressure to be perfect. And then there's my least favorite: ignorance. I've always believed there's a difference between having an opinion and having ignorance thrust upon you. Most people have both. There won't be any of that here, but don't write me off just yet.

Before I write my actual first post, you should know two things. Like I said, I love entertainment and I always know what's going on with celebrities. But to be honest, if I saw one walking down the street I wouldn't even do a double take. Okay, that's a lie maybe a couple head turns. But the point is, the only two that I would chase down and confusingly cry in front of are Taylor Swift and LeBron James. And that's more because I admire them as human beings (as far as I know, their public choices, interactions, relationships, etc.) and less for their talent. Let's be honest, everybody has talent. The only difference is that the entire world just happens not to know about ours. So, I want to apologize in advance because I will post about those two any time I get the opportunity. If you dislike either, or both (a surprisingly popular combination), I'm sorry! But you've been warned:)


Photos: Huffington Post, US Magazine, tvovermind.com., designitsyou.com, slashgear.com, portcityprescription.com, cbssports.com, winkcz.com