My thoughts on Ray and Janay Rice

As I reflect on Ray Rice and his wife, Janay Rice, I am reminded of the television show, House. 

One of the most valuable lessons that I have ever learned didn't come from a best-selling book, or a stranger I met by chance, or even my parents (although I have surely learned a great deal from all three). The simple yet unforgettable lesson came from this show.

If you've never seen it before, the show's plot is centered around a brilliant, intimidating, intuitive, stubborn, honest and flat-out rude diagnostic doctor by the name of Gregory House. He's the kind of doctor that you would choose to have if you knew what was best for you but hate to have if you were ignorant to it.

I spent the entire first season trying to figure him out... the root of all his brutal and heart-filled choices. The characters in the show spent time doing the same as me. One character figured it out before I ever could. And she said it so simply:

"You don't do things because they're fair... you do things because they're right."

Janay Rice, Photo: huffingpost.com

My heart breaks for her. My heart breaks that millions of people have seen this terrible video of the man she loves knocking her unconscious. My heart breaks that she has to hear about it for God knows how long. My heart breaks at the idea that this could ever happen to her again. My heart breaks that with the release of the video or not, she will think about this moment every single day for a very, very long. My heart breaks.

The release of the video by TMZ has sparked a lot of debate and conversation around the country.

 I've heard people saying that the media had no right to release the video. I hate to be 'that journalist', but technically, yes, they did have the right. Ray Rice assaulted his then-fiancee on public surveillance. In addition to this, he is a public figure, which makes the video of direct interest to the public. Please, please, please don't get me wrong. I believe so strongly in the privacy of public and private individuals. Every single person is entitled to that. Is this situation really anyone else's business but theirs? No, it's really not; if only the world really worked like that. Unfortunately, Ray Rice made his actions public before anyone else, and he must now face the very tough consequences. Jennifer Lawrence's naked body surely isn't anyone's business, but that didn't stop the media or millions of people from making it theirs just last week. And this is something she did in the privacy of her own home.... not on a public elevator.

I've heard a lot of people using the "she hit him first" argument. We all watched the video so we know this is true. And yes, I agree that she had no right whatsoever to do that. And I know most are just trying to prove a point. But in some small way, this point seems to excuse the Ray Rice's actions and lighten his level of accountability, unintentional or not. If you think what happened to Janay Rice was "fair" because she hit him first....

"You don't do things because they're fair... you do things because they're right."

And then there's my least favorite: those questioning how women continuously request equality, but not expecting it when a man hits her back. Come on, do you really think situation calls for a comparison for gender equality? How dare you compare women fighting for equal voting rights, career opportunities and general human respect to equality when engaging in a physical altercation with someone who nearly twice her size and strength? Women and men are born inherently equal on a mental level (the capacity for intelligence, decision-making, etc.), but it is a biological fact that men and women are physically different. You cannot make an argument for gender equality. Equality does not exist here. That is the difference.

Unleash Katniss Everdeen, please

Every night before we all lay our little heads on our plump, cold pillows, we should all thank our lucky stars that we aren't celebrities.

And just like yesterday, tonight, I'll be thankful I'm not Jennifer Lawrence.

I'm a Libra. It is my self-proclaimed part-time job to put myself in other people's shoes pretty much immediately. I often find myself sliding on someone else's shoes before I even break my own in. And although I don't know what it's truly like to be Jennifer Lawrence right now, I never want to.

Wait, I'm ahead of myself here. Rewind. 

At some point in the past 24-hours, nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence were leaked on the internet. I don't encourage you to look at them, but it's one of those things where you just end up on the page, thinking "poor thing". I saw them by accident. But I'll admit, I would've eventually sought out the proof with my own eyes. I don't blame you. Like I said, it really is just one of those things.

It kind of breaks my heart. This woman is 24-years old. Not that it would make it any better if she was 44 or 65, but for me it hits that much closer to home. "What if that was me? How would I handle it? Would people look at me differently? Would I trust anyone?" Those all seem like basic thoughts that might run through my head. It's not even fully about a million strangers and critics seeing your naked body. Believe me, I'm sure that's extremely terrifying. But it's hard to imagine that being the worst part of it all. It's the invasion of every boundary of privacy she thought belonged to her. It's the feeling that she can't do what she wants when she wants to with people and situations and memories that belong to her. It's the inconsiderate, disgusting comments she will get walking down the street, the eyes that will stare with more intent, and the sense of security that she won't get back for years, if at all.

If I'm wrong about Jennifer Lawrence, I'm hoping she transforms into Katniss Everdeen after all of this. I've always imagined her to be a fighter, just like the fictional character she plays in "The Hunger Games". That girl is fierce, strong and confident but graceful and authentic... five great qualities that would motivate and help any person out of a really, really tough situation like this one. And it's not just because I've seen her embody the role of Katniss that I believe they are similar. Have you ever seen her in an interview?  NO WAY SHE IS GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT....A GRACEFUL FIGHT. 

*Does 3 finger sign from "The Hunger Games"* Respect.